I thought I was sooo prepared...I really did! After all, Sam has been ready to be on his own for quite some time and I could see it coming fast. I was even thinking about all the positive benefits of being an empty nester... like my house would stay clean, my cupboards would stay full, grocery shopping would be cheaper, dinnertime would be so much easier...no more guessing how many I would be serving, what time they would be here (always staggered so I would need to keep food warm), likes and dislikes, etc. I would gain a much needed office/hobby room (already patching walls and choosing paint colors). There were days that I couldn't hear myself think for all the noise and chaos. Oh yeah, being an empty nester was gonna be sooo sweet. That was last week; I'm singing a different tune this week!
We spent Friday and Saturday moving Sam into his new apartment. He was so happy that I couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement as well. It wasn't until Monday morning that the reality set in and I realized my nest was empty, my job was done, my life had changed and I was now in a new season. I was stunned with how hard this realization hit me. I was not at all prepared for the quiet stillness of the house. The whole atmosphere has changed. I still listen for Sam's truck to come rolling into the driveway. I find myself looking out the kitchen window to see if Amy will show up for dinner and a good game of Wii. I have trouble passing the empty bedroom without getting a little teary and I miss spending a few minutes with Sam in the mornings before he's off to work.
Many people have told me that this is the time to reconnect with my husband and work on our relationship. That seems like great advice, but I am happy to report that we can't reconnect because we never disconnected in the first place. We can, however, have great conversations without fear of being overheard or disturbed by kids coming and going and that's nice!
Maybe because I have been a full time stay at home mom and homemaker for the last quarter of a century, it will be a little harder for me to adjust, but that's ok because I wouldn't trade the years of raising my boys for anything. The sacrifices were many, but the rewards have been immeasurable.
It's so ironic that we raise our kids to be independent and make their own way in the world and then when they actually do we're left feeling sad and a little lost. I know these feelings will fade and I will move on to new things and experiences. I will learn to enjoy the peace and quiet and the freedom that comes from no kids in the house....and that's probably when I'll get a grandbaby to disrupt everything again...at least I hope so!!
Starting in the closet with the new color...
I am really pleased with the transformation of the new room! It is light, bright, and airy! But even more important, I am pleased with the transformation in my heart. Last week, it was empty and gray, just like the old room. This week it is much lighter and looking forward to the future. I can attribute my renewal not to paint, but to prayer and to a God Who loves me. Instead of crying over my empty house, I am now excited to see what God has planned for me next! 